ARR 1988 - Flipbook - Page 137
one voice rose above the rest:::reaching out as if to grasp them:::reaching,
my arms and my tongue and my mind:::jumping into this conversation, that
one:::catching even the parts unsaid:::everything absolutely chock-full of
other, underlying meanings:::total subjectivity:::interpretive speech:::like
some kind of test almost:
"how do you feel? .. .like this ... ohmygod, look in that mirror... Gemini
Window.. .! feel as though ... eyes the windows of the soul ... I've never seen
that person in there before ... sshh! be quiet ... the walls have ears ... the hills
have eyes ... George Schultz has multiple chins ..."
Mild hallucinations began. At one point I felt as if bright pink
spotlights were focused on me, following wherever I went. I also witnessed
the hanging of an Italian baker circa 1915, a lynching it looked like, behind
my eyelids. I tried desperately to regain the image, after opening and then
closing my eyes again, but all I found was purplish after-glow, like looking
at bright lights, and memory.
Other people were experiencing things like this, I discovered.
Listening:
".. .I see cones... cones?...yeah, like the ones you see on the freeway, the
orange ones .. .ice-cream cones on a freeway? ..... no, the ones on the
freeway .. .ice-cream cones on the freeway ... melting in all that hot
rubber...no! well, I guess I see that, too ... "
Voices, rhythmic and reassuring:
"well, all I know is, well, all I know ... that's an incomplete thought ... of
course it is, that's the only kind I have ... I don't like complete
thoughts... when they're complete, they're done and gone, over-finishedended ... forever..... I'm losing my train ... one flew east, one flew west... my
train of thought ... west. .. god, midgets are so scary, aren't
they?... wwwweeeessstt... surgeon general theme park... so are vacuum
cleaners if you think about it. ..think about it.. .immaculate deception ... Lisa
did you just step on my elbow? ... graven images, Holy Libel...how could I,
you're standing up...Jesus Christ... Orville Red Rick-enbacher...Judas
Iscariot ... Howdy Doody .. . how do you feel? .. .like this ... and
yet... what.. .it's...what?... I'm not ... crazy, am I? ... we all are, my friend ... "
The television set was turned on sometime during the ride. My attention
was caught. Bizarre, it seemed. To be caught so quickly, so completely, by
a flashing collage of microscopic dots.
Television tuned to an empty station. White noise on the screen.
Reflecting in our eyes. Rebounding in our skulls. Someone's changing
channels. Click. Sitcom of some kind:::canned laughter:::inane family
antics.. .is
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